I like to tell people that my husband proposed to me because I took him on his first turkey hunt. Of course, it’s probably a coincidence that he proposed just two weeks after I called in his first turkey for him (which ended with a filled tag) but I like to say it wasn’t a coincidence.
My husband didn’t come from a hunting family. I guess that’s where our story differs from that of most couples. My husband had only been hunting for a few years when we met, and then picked up bowhunting shortly thereafter.
That was 7 years, two children, and many hunts ago. However, we usually get a few hunts in together every year. Like most things, hunting with your spouse or significant other has both pros and cons. Some couples may always hunt together, others may never…and there’s no wrong answer. Do whatever makes your relationship stronger.
For my husband and I, hunting together was a way to escape the outside world and simply sit in silence while waiting for a deer, or to have casual conversation while scanning the treetops for squirrels. Phones were forgotten about, as were most problems.
However, certain dynamics come into play when hunting with your significant other. One person tends to take on the role as a “leader” and the one in charge. This is usually whoever has the most knowledge of hunting. For most couples, this tends to be the guy, but in my relationship, I tended to take the lead. Thankfully my husband was fine with it. However, it’s something that could be an issue with couples who have equal hunting experience.
This also leads to the question of who gets to shoot first. Not everyone wants to be the selfless “backup” shooter. This is something that should be decided before heading out to hunt. Draw straws or flip a coin if you can’t decide what’s fair.
For years, I enjoyed hunting alone as it was my way to decompress from my work week and being around other people. It was a big part of why I enjoyed hunting. The solitude was amazing. So, it is understandable to me why some might not want to share their spot in the woods with anyone else or hear the sound of anyone else’s voice. Sometimes your own thoughts are enough.
One of the most common differences between spouses when it comes to hunting, is the expectations that you perceive. While I can simply sit with my back up against an old oak tree for hours while the sun slowly disappears behind me, my husband gets impatient. He doesn’t like to sit still for long periods of time – a lot of hunters will say the same.
The first thing my husband and I ever did together before we started dating, was bowfishing. I took him to my favorite spot down by the river and showed him how to shoot gar from the shallows. Bowfishing quickly turned into our “thing” and we went together on nearly every day off we had during the summer months. It was easy to make a day of it, and something we could do while still talking and staying on the move.
And so, in the past near-decade of marriage and hunting, my husband and I have figured out the perfect arrangement to hunt together and not completely hate each other while doing it.
Bowhunting for whitetail is something we do separately. It’s just for the best. I can hunt how I want, and he can hunt how he wants. But the more fast paced hunts that include walking and conversation – that’s where we thrive. Small game hunting for squirrel, pheasant, and rabbit, is what we usually do as a family. And here we are, still happily married.
So, for those of you who want to go hunting with your spouse, I highly recommend giving it a try. Find what works best for you and remember that spending time together in the woods is never a bad thing.
